If you think the Tories’ problems would be solved if they ditched Kemi Badenoch and turned to any of the mooted replacements – or indeed to anyone else – then I have a bridge to sell you. When you’re booted out of office less than a year ago because the public despise you – because they think you stand for nothing, are disastrously useless, and are incapable of telling the truth about anything – then the idea that you just need to be a bit better at social media memes and appear on a few more TV interviews is risible.

Imagine...